


Bold As Love

by Bluejay141519



Series: Little Wing [2]
Category: SEAL Team (TV)
Genre: Gen, Hurt Clay, I tried?, Sequel, Team as Family, if you want clays POV go to part one, still set before deployment, worried hayes, you asked for it folks
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-05
Updated: 2018-05-12
Packaged: 2019-05-02 17:12:19
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 2
Words: 11,819
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14549436
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Bluejay141519/pseuds/Bluejay141519
Summary: “Ray, you need to move!”“What in the fuck do you think I’ve been doing the last twenty minutes?! Eating a sandwich?!” Ray screams back.Or, the one in which Clay is kidnapped, and Jason just about looses his mind.





	1. The Start

**Author's Note:**

> Special thanks to Allie for listening, and for Moose, who this story is for, and for who is the sole reason it exists.

_ When I’m sad _

_ She comes to me _

_ With a thousand smiles _

_ She gives to me free _

_ Its alright she said, it alright _

_ Take anything you want from me _

_ Anything, anything _

_ Fly on, little wing _

_ \-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- _

 

“Hey Boss I got something.” Hayes looks across the room to Ray, whose leaning over a laptop. He sends a quick glance to Sonny, who nods without taking his eyes from his scope.

 

The house is small, like the mission. It’s neither high profile, nor is it off extreme importance, (in fact it’s mostly a long shot) but it would be extremely helpful to intelligence should they find what they’re looking for.

 

The house is crude, walls made of wood and covered with cheap concrete, the floors made of stones set in the same sand based mixture. They’re in the middle of Afghanistan and supposedly there’s a level of network activity that doesn’t match the nonexistent technology in the area. Given that not even three clicks north there was a large terrorist cell that was “dispersed” by the Marines over a year ago, it’s not hard imagine that those who escaped went to nearby villages. And then went relatively unchecked, seeing as the nearest city was much more obviously active for underground movement; it was the focus of any counter terrorism actions conducted in the region. 

 

Regardless. Ellis had it on decent authority that the computer they were being sent to find could be a key into terrorist movements, both locally and abroad. 

 

Jason had his doubts. For one, a computer with that kind of information should be more heavily guarded: they drove ATVs in, and only encountered two hostiles who were quickly taken care of. 

 

The town is quiet. Even during the day, not much goes on. People take their goats out to get water, tend to other animals, and come back by dusk, other necessary action performed only to ensure survival. 

 

That didn’t mean that the house they were directed to should have been empty. It was. In fact, after sweeping the whole thing, it didn’t look like anyone had lived there for a very long time, no usable furniture, no rugs, no clothes, nothing that would imply someone was there inhabiting the shack of a place.

 

Jason had a bad feeling about it from the beginning. The sketchy intel, the lack of resistance but also the fact that there  _ was  _ jihadists near it, meant that  _ something  _ was here, but either they were in the wrong place for what they were looking for, the intel was just pure bullshit, or they were getting set up. 

 

After seeing the burn marks on the outside of the windows, he was inclined to believe it was one of the first two. After Ray found the computer sitting unprotected under the only used table and chair in the whole place, he was ready to believe the latter. 

 

“Whaddaya got.” He mutters, feeling the need to bounce on his toes just to do something with the low levels of adrenaline getting shot through his veins by the prickling dread in his stomach.

 

“Everything.” Ray responds, and turns the laptop to show line after line of numbers, names, and locations, all with folders attached to them that would include details. “Except I opened this and it was unlocked. Didn’t have anything to be cracked. So either it’s all in code or...”

 

“They left in a hurry.”

 

“They left but  _ didn’t _ know we were coming? There’s no way, they wouldn’t have cleared out and left this here, I don’t care how rushed they were.” Ray whispers, knowing just as well as his TL that this wouldn’t be left unprotected. Hayes glances at his long time friend, then back at the thick laptop. “Shut it down and take it.” Is his only reply, before moving to key his radio.

 

“We got movement.” Everyone freezes for a second at their rookies words, Jason’s hand still on the radio.

 

There’s been nothing from Toc. Not a damn word. and they’re supposed to have been monitoring the area. Hayes  _ knows  _ they have overwatch. 

 

Then Sonny confirms movement outside of his window, the side of the room opposite to where Clay is kneeling, and the block of apprehension in his chest turns to ice. In simple terms: they’re fucked.

 

“Move!” He yells. “Everyone move, let’s go! Sonny cover back, Clay take point, Ray-“ The man holds a thumbs up, both hands free for his gun, laptop stowed in his backpack brought specific for it. “-on me.” 

 

Sonny ducks away from the window and gets behind Ray, the whole team now crouched down in tight formation, guns ready. Jason taps Clays shoulder, and the blond moves instantly, standing to move quickly into the Hall.

 

It’s efficient. They are, and always have been. Their job is dangerous (understatement of the century) and Hayes does not allow for sloppiness of any kind. The slightest imperfections are ground out in training. Perfection is how they get their job done.  

 

They’re in a line up against the left wall where there’s no doors. Clay walks forward with speed, weapon snug against his shoulder, eye always looking through the scope, finger always on the trigger. Jason is behind him, looking for anything Clay might not see, constantly scanning to his front and right while keeping his pointed lower. Ray is behind Jason, operating in the space between him and Sonny, covering anything to their immediate side, and keeping an eye back on Sonny, who’s walking backwards with ease, scope trained to what’s directly behind the group.

 

The move almost silently, and with deadly precision, all senses dialed to 11, the best of the best, Tier One operators in their prime.

 

It goes to shit fairly quickly. 

 

They step around a corner - rather, Clay does - then there’s more gunfire than Jason would’ve thought possible for that size hallway. He grabs the back of Spenser’s vest and yanks him back, letting his gun hang from its strap in favor of getting another arm to wrap around Clays middle and bodily haul him backwards.

 

“Go!” He yells, pushing Clay forward and resituating his gun back in his shoulder. The team reversed direction, now headed deeper into the one level house. 

 

“Go  _ where- _ “

 

“How about  _ not _ backwards!” He snarls, and pushes Clay forward again, getting him next to Sonny and trying to ignore the way he looks more than a little dazed. 

 

“Back door isn’t really a door anymore but we can try it.” Ray volunteers as Sonny takes out two guys that pop out at the end of the hallway. 

 

“Wherever we go better make it quick, the kids not doing so hot.” Hayes, who was kneeling behind Ray and had his back towards the rest of the group, twist around to see Clay almost on his knees, one hand on the ground in front of him the other on his gun, head bowed. 

 

With a growl of pure frustration, Jason turn and wraps an arm around Spensers mid section. Lifting him back to his feet, he taps Sonny’s shoulder, and they’re moving again.

 

It’s pure chaos as what seems like a small army of men flood the house while the SEALs try to get out. Ray and Sonny have their work cut out for them trying to protect their teammates from hostiles both in front of and behind them. Hayes has his Baretta in one hand and a very disoriented bundle of tactical gear and deadweight in the other, the latter of which is slowly getting heavier as they move through the house. 

 

They have no exfil, no contact with their support team, and a team member who’s probably shot. 

 

Hayes would panic if he could. Really, he would, because he’s got one of Clays arms slung around his shoulders, and can feel Spenser leaning more and more weight on him, can see his feet struggling to move. That amount of gunfire he faced and the odds of him not being hit at  _ all  _ are slim to nil, and Jasons the one who put him up front.

 

That said, he can do  _ nothing _ but try to get him and the rest of his team out of this house that’s quickly becoming a kill box. If he stops now to check on Clay, they all die.

 

They’re waiting for them when they get to the back room. It’s empty, like the rest of the house, and where what might have been a door is just an open space with a single concrete step leading outside.

 

Sonny is still in front, and he’s the first to see the man, holding up his hand in a fist that makes them all stop. Or rather, makes Ray and Hayes stop. Clay stumbles forward, not even remotely prepared for the halt in movement. He hits the ground on his hands and knees, and seems ready to go all the way down, when the shadowed figure throws a round object into the room.

 

“Grenade!”

 

“Clay  _ move _ !”

 

Sonny dives backwards into the hall, Ray grabs Hayes and yanks him in the same direction, all of them bracing for what will be a lot of pain.

 

The grenade goes off.

 

Or rather, the  _ concussion _ grenade goes off. If it was a normal grenade, Jason is sure that he would be dealing with much more than a headache and vertigo. 

 

Hayes pushes himself off of Ray, blinking away the double visions but not the sharp ringing in his ears or the pounding in his skull. There’s smoke in the air, and the headlights of a car shining in through the window that weren’t there before.

 

It’s because of those light that Hayes can see Clay, who is flat on the ground, clearly unconscious now. Jason moves - or tried to move at least - to help him, but the world tilts in a not so fun way and his attempt to get to his hands and knees ends with him falling back into Sonny, who’s actually more coherent than Jason is. The texan man with a temper pushes his TL off him, but does so with carefulness. Rays up next to him too, but Jason's more focused on his fourth member than he is whatever these two are saying to him.

 

A man, maybe the same one who threw the grenade, maybe not, is in the room. And instead of killed the SEALs, he’s taking Clay.

 

“Clay!” Hayes manages to get out around a harsh cough. Ray rotates instantly, aiming and pulling the trigger, going through rounds like a little kid does candy. Sonny stands, pulling him up in the process, and then they’re all moving.

 

It only occurs to Jason  _ after  _ they burst through the door that they should’ve been shot the instant the walk outside. He may be a little concussed, but given the amount of people shooting at them before, there should have been some outside the house.

 

There are none. The shooters are gone, the car is gone, and so is Clay.

 

————

 

It takes exactly four seconds for Sonny to explode. Jason knows, because he’s counting to calm himself down, and he doesn’t get that far before Quinn goes off.

 

He’d been dead quiet from the second they got on the choppers, and with a brother just kidnapped, it wasn’t especially hard for any of his remaining team to figure out what was going to happen once they landed. 

 

Luckily, they didn’t care. In fact, they shared the sentiment, but since Ray was going to have his hands full dragging Jason to medical to make sure a concussion was all he had, because seriously, he was  _ fine.  _ He wasn’t the one that they had to worry about. 

 

Exfil had been hard, and tense. 

 

They had to hike out to a point where the choppers could land safety, because the ATVs were torched, which was the unneeded confirmation that they were being watched from the start. 

 

They made radio contact with Toc maybe five minutes after Clay was taken. They still had the laptop. And the conversation on the other end of the line made it clear what happened was rather intentional.

 

First of all, it’s wasn't Davis who answers. It wasn’t Ellis or Blackburn or anyone in their normal ground team.

 

It was a general, who sounded so very  _ not _ sorry to hear about Spenser.

 

_ “Sir, I don’t think you understand. This was a set up. They knew we were coming, and they specifically went after us not with intent to kill but to take one prisoner. This is not just a spur of the moment thing, this was-” _

 

_ “Master Chief Hayes, I am aware of the circumstances of past events, and I understand you may be emotionally compromised, but right now the most important thing is getting that laptop back to those who can do good with it. Your exfil is in 3 minutes. Toc out.” _

 

_ Ray stares incredulously while anger colors Sonny’s face and muted shock is all Hayes can manage. _

 

_ “They knew. They knew this would happen and they sent us anyway.” _

 

Ray has to basically drag Hayes backwards when they get into the command center, because he still has his gun and none of their ground team is there, it’s just a whole new team of high ranking officers. 

 

“Jas, don’t do this!” He hisses, pulling him backwards and it stops the words from Hayes mouth, but does nothing for Sonny, who goes right at the general standing with barely concealed contempt on his face.

 

“You  _ son of a bitch _ \- he’s gone because of you! You piece of shit! He-“

 

“Easy Sonny!”

 

“Don’t tell me to-  _ he’s being tortured right now because your pompous ass doesn’t care about the people under your command you c-“ _

 

“Enough!” And that’s Blackburn, suddenly pushing the enraged SEAL backwards. The General has satisfaction in his eyes and a cold emotionless face, and Hayes just  _ knows _ that this is going to be the guy who drives him to commit cold blooded murder.

 

“Master chief, control your men!” He barks out, and Hayes almost,  _ almost  _ jumps at him. Instead he grabs Sonny’s shoulder, and that leaves Ray to help push him back too. 

 

“Sonny-  _ Sonny _ ! This isn’t going to help Clay!” Ray knows the words might be low, but it’s what gets him to stop fighting them. Sonny shoves then off, and with one more glare at the General he stalks back into the hanger, looking ready to kill a man. 

 

“C’mon Jay.” Ray whispers, one hand gripping his friends arm in case he decides to re-entertain Sonny’s mission to beat the snot out of the man who got their youngest kidnapped. “We gotta go. We’ll figure this out, but not here.”

 

————

 

“Look straight ahead.” The medic says in a soft voice, clearly doing her best to keep her patient calm without patronizing him. It’s not working the best, because Jason still feels very patronized.

 

And angry.

 

At everything.

 

Ray had to basically peel Jason’s tactical gear off him, and that was after somehow getting Sonny on his side to drag their leader into medical. Blackburn had told them where to find the rest of Bravo, then quietly disappeared, which was mildly suspicious, but then Hayes just added it to the growing list of unknowns, and hoped something would become a little more clear when they met up with the rest of Bravo.

 

The medic, a young girl with her hair tied back in a high ponytail like Lisa’s, flicks a pen light across Jason’s field of vision, and definitely doesn’t miss the extremely subtle flinch that he doesn’t quiet hide. She doesn’t talk, just checks him over while Ray tries to get inside Jason’s head and Sonny broods in the corner with his arms crossed.

 

“You know this isn’t your fault right?” Ray starts, and doesn’t stop at the glare sent his way. “Clay was doing his job. They were the assholes who got him kidnapped.”

 

And  _ yes _ , that’s part of it. The only thing that’s keeping his rage in check are Rays words from before, and a few years of experience. Getting sidelined isn’t going to help them find Clay.

 

The other part of his anger, however much logic dictates that it’s the job, that he couldn’t have known, that it was because of a lack of overwatch - that anger is directed at himself. He knows that it isn’t his fault. He knows that.

 

But the guilty feeling in his gut won’t go away, no matter what rational reasoning he gives it.

 

“He was shot Ray.” He says, quieter. “They were the ones who got us jammed up, but I was the one who put him in front.”

 

“Okay...so what? That could have been anyone else, it could have been  _ any of us _ . You couldn’t have known-”

 

“I should’ve-” Hayes bites out then winces, hating bringing out that tone in his best friend, because it mostly means that this won’t be dropped anytime soon.

 

“Should’ve  _ what _ ? Had Toc telling us what to do?  _ Yes _ . But we didn’t, and you don’t have X-ray vision, so there was nothing we could’ve done. You had no idea what was going down. What happens to him is not on you.”

 

“ _ Happened _ .” Hayes corrects, feeling something important inside crack a bit as he continues. “He’s probably dead-” 

 

“No-“

 

“They wouldn’t keep him alive if he was-“

 

“No, no we’re not going there. Not this time.” Ray argues back, shaking his head. “They took him because they needed to know what was in his head. They’ll keep him alive.”

 

“Ray-” He wants to talk his friend out of it, out of the false hope that he has, because if he doesn’t, then Ray will convince Hayes that he should believe that they can still save Clay.

 

“He’s all set.” The medic interrupts. “I’d say keep it to light duty for a while but we all know that won’t happen. Listen,“ She states, tucking her instruments away, looking as casual as she can, right up until she fixes Hayes with an intense stare that vaguely reminds him of Davis when some guy decides to give her shit. “I was there when Clay went through BUDs. I’ve seen him at his lowest.” She lowers her voice, and tilts her head back towards the command tent.

 

“That asshole in there knew that you were the best, just like he knew it was a set up. He just about fucking  _ bragged  _ about it to his buddies. He knew a least one of you would get out alive, so he took the chance that the laptop would come with you, and he got lucky. But he also got the rookie SEAL of his best team kidnapped. Which means he can’t really say  _ ‘no’  _ to you trying to find him, not if he wants to keep his job.” She leans back, cleaning an instrument with a cloth and the anger on her face disappears.

 

“You bring him back here in one piece and I can fix him.” She says all business then rips a piece of paper off her clipboard to hand to a surprised Hayes. 

 

“Will that be all Master Chief Hayes?”

 

“Yes Ma’m.” He mutters back, and the three watch as she walks away. Ray says nothing, but Hayes just sighs as stands and walks past Sonny.

 

“I like her.” He whispers, and Jason punches him in the shoulder with a gruff “Shut up.”

 

\----------------------------------------------------------------

 

They have to explain to the rest of Bravo what happened.

 

It wasn’t hard to figure out how the op went, what with Blackburn only seeing the three of them, and then only seeing them as Sonny was screaming. That said, the Commander must’ve kept his mouth shut, or just said the op went bad because they walk into a side room full of the rest of the team, and they are still waiting for an explanation.

 

Ray shuts the door, shooing Jason to a chair, while he and Sonny stand, almost like guards. 

 

When a minute goes by and no ones else walks in Davis speaks up.

 

“Where’s Clay?”

 

No one answers at first, and then the horror and grief slowly spreading across their faces snaps Ray (always the calm one, even in rage) into action.

 

“We don’t know.” He answers, wary of the way Jason drops his head at the words.

 

“You don’t  _ know _ ?” She snaps. “What the fuck does that mean?!”

 

“It’s means the General who kicked you out is the scum of the earth and deserves the lowest level of hell.” Sonny snarls from his place, standing against a wall. 

 

“What?” Trent asks, confused.

 

“They knew we were coming.” Hayes speaks, voice rough, but he makes no effort to clear it. “General Morrison knew that they knew we were coming, and he sent us anyway. We had no support, and it was...I should’ve-“

 

“Clay was kidnapped.” Ray interrupts Hayes’ self deprecation speech to get to the point. “Morrison didn’t expect all of us to get out alive. In fact you might even say he planned on it. That’s one of the reasons you were pulled after we landed.”

 

It’s quiet for a second, and Hayes looks around the room, watching as the disbelief turns to anger on everyone's faces.

 

“ _ What _ ?!” Mandy yells eventually, eyes bolting to each to of the returning members like they’ll suddenly change their story, say they were joking or something. The sentiment is mirrored by the rest of the people in the room.

 

“So- so okay, then what...I mean we’re going to find him. Right?” Davis asks, looking very much like if the answer is anything but  _ yes  _ there will be blood shed. 

 

“We can’t do anything without permission right now. As for our original orders, we were supposed to leave tonight.” Blackburn answers, and Hayes shrugs.

 

“I wouldn’t go packing anything yet. Me and Morrison have a...conversation that needs to be had before hand.”

 

Sonny just snorts. “Don’t be civil to that asshat.”

 

\--------------------------------

 

“He in there?” Hayes asks, already knowing the answer as he walks briskly towards the closed door of the base command office. The Master Chief took the time to put on clean clothes simply to remove the Generals option of claiming him to be ‘emotionally unfit’. Sonny and Ray are working with Davis and Elli to give them everything they can about the mission (the people, the place, what language they spoke to what clothes they wore, everything and anything that could give them a clue as to where to look for Clay) and Jason is taking valuable time to ensure he has  _ permission  _ to go after his youngest member.

 

“Sir, you can’t-” The guard standing outside the door is a young kid, and Jason pushes right past him to barge in.

 

“Sure I can!” He responds cheerfully. “After all, the General has been expecting me.” He finishes once he’s inside, staring coldly at the man of subject, who simply puts blinks up at Jason and puts down his pen. 

 

“Shut the door if you would. Thank you Ryan.” Morrison responds, clearly dismissing the young guard. He stares up at Jason, and gestures to the seat on the other side of his desk, expression blank but eyes clear with an undeniable glee at the anger on Hayes’ face.

 

“Would you like to sit?” He asks regardless, and it takes everything Jason has to not lunge across the desk and strangle the bastard. 

 

“No, I’m fine. Just a few questions.” Jace replies instead, voice carefully calm and cool despite the rage in his eyes. 

 

“Well, if you can manage to ask them calmly and in a manor becoming of your rank, I believe it to be in my power to answer them.” Jason’s hand twitches at his side, but he refuses to let his demeanor change.

 

“The intel that you received pertaining to this laptop, who did you hear it from and how was it checked?” 

 

The General’s mask doesn’t crack.

 

“The source is classified, and as you know it’s nearly impossible to completely vet information. We tend to only know if its correct when we send in a team like yours and they come out with it.”

 

Hayes just nods.

 

“So not only was the source’s credibility questionable, but you heard about the  _ possibility _ of major intelligence, and you didn’t bother trying to check it through channels available to someone with a rank as prestigious as your own?”

 

“You must have a hearing problem Hayes, because that’s not what I said.”

 

“No sir, I hear just fine, I was just double checking the information you gave me.” Jason replies, voice still cold and deceptively innocent. “I have to write this up in a very long AAR, so I need as much information as I can get to make sure my report is thorough. Would you mind telling me why Bravo’s command team was pulled from toc?”

 

“The nature of the intelligence you were collecting demanded the best of the best be behind you.” He states, almost as though reading from a script. Jason grins, all teeth and no mercy. A humorless chuckle passes his lips and feels deep satisfaction as the general walks right into his trap.

 

“That’s very thoughtful of you General Morrison. And since we had the best of the best as our support team, how would you explain the fact that we had absolutely  _ no  _ warning or communication of any kind during an integral portion of our mission? Communication that would have most likely saved a member of our team from being kidnapped and tortured?”

 

The General goes quiet, and Hayes knows he’s got him. The AAR he writes about this mission will be very detailed and very, very specific. But it’s going to have to wait until he gets Spenser back. 

  
  


They will get him back. Alive, fucked up, or dead, he’s bringing their boy home. There’s no question in his mind. Jason will not lose another member of his team, not because of this asshole with an power complex.

 

“Anything else?” Morrison asks, not even bothering to try and answer. Hayes pretends to think for a second.

 

“No- Actually, yeah I do have something else I need explained.”  He growls a bit at the end, voice lower and rougher as he takes a step forward to lean both arms on the General’s desk.

 

“Why,  _ exactly  _ would you purposely send a  _ small  _ team of SEALs, to an  _ isolated  _ location to extract an piece of technology with  _ invaluable  _ information when you  _ knew _ that the people who were currently in possession of this technology were waiting for us, and then completely cut us off from ground command, so we were essentially blind. Because the only reason I can think of is that you wanted us dead, but that wouldn’t make sense, because then you still wouldn’t get the laptop.” He blinks.

 

“But since you now have that laptop and are still stalling my mans rescue, it’s extremely possible there never was any information of real value on it, and getting us killed was your entire goal.” Hayes looks up at the general, another fake smile on his face. “And I’m sure you would never have  _ purposely  _ sent a team of your fellow servicemen to their deaths right General? Because that would paramount to treason.” 

 

The General smiles back so wide it’s chipping at the edges. “I hope you find your man Master Chief Hayes. Dismissed.”

 

**\-----------------------------------**

 

“How’d it go?” Ray asks the second Hayes walks back into their tent.

 

“Well, he’s still alive.” Jason responds.

 

“That bad, huh?” Sonny chirps from where he’s checking his rifle. 

 

“Well, we got the greenlight, or as green as we’re going to get from the bastard.” Hayes huffs. Ray is sitting at the table not saying anything, and Brock and Trent (who were, for some reason, forcefully told to sit out while the four of them went in, which Hayes thinks should’ve been a warning sign if he ever saw one) are standing opposite him, while Cerberus pacing around the floor, occasionally sniffing at the bunk that has Clays rucksack on it and then whining softly. 

 

“What do we got?” He asks, looking between them in the hopes that someone will say something other than nothing.

 

“What we got, is a lot more than I had hoped for.” Ellis says, and Jason turns around to see several satellite pictures up on a tv screen. The door opens just then, and Blackburn walks in with Davis, who’s barely containing a smile. 

 

“We’re all set.” The lieutenant commander declares. “I talked to one of my friends in the DIA, and she contacted the man in charge of the whole damn base. Once we get a location, we are go for extraction.” 

 

Hayes frowns. “I told you I was talking to Morrison.” 

 

Blackburn opens his mouth to reply and then pauses. “Well...I wasn’t entirely sure that wouldn’t end in a court martial, so…” 

 

Hayes blinks, then shrugs.

 

“That’s fair.”

 

“As I was saying,” Mandy interrupts, and Jason’s exhausted focus is turned back to her. The team that went in has been awake for twenty hours now, and no one is looking to rack out now. “Based on the information you gave us, and what we got from our own sources, this was definitely a set up, with the intent to capture, not kill, one of you guys. We’re going to assume that they were smart enought to set up planned escape routes, at least two, and had multiple sights to take their hostage to. Now, we went over what data we had concerning the site and surrounding area, and we think that they might not have taken him far.” Mandy clicks a few things on her laptop and new pictures come up. Sonny swears, and Ray just sighs.

 

“Of course. Perfect hiding spot, because it’s not like any American soldier is going survive going in there for very long.” Hayes scrubs a hand down his face, literally feeling the odds turn even farther against them.

 

Jalabad. Well, at least it’s familiar.

 

“Okay. Okay so- are we sure about this?” He asks. Davis shares a glance with Ellis.

 

“To save the long drawn out explanation, yes, we are sure. Very much so.” The weapons tech answers. “They may have spent time planning out several routes to leaving, but they seemed to do so with the knowledge that no one would be chasing them. They didn’t hide quite as well as they thought, and I’m sure they figured that even if we found them, we wouldn’t risk an international incident going after one soldier.”

 

“International incident sounds fun.” Sonny adds, and Davis rolls her eyes.

 

“Lucky for everyone involved, they aren’t really inside the city, so much as planted on the outskirts of it.”

 

“You have a general location then?”

 

Mandy just smiles. 

 

“I can do you one better than that. We have the exact building.”

 


	2. The End?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys, I just want to give a massive thank you for all the incredibly kind reviews you guys left on the first chapter of this story. It really meant a lot to me, and helped me get through finals.

 

The night is quiet, stuck in that impossible stillness that happens as late night turns to early morning. Right before darkness turns to dawn, when the air doesn’t hold the same heaviness of midnight, but isn’t as free as the first light of day. 

 

Hayes has been on countless missions in his career. From green team to rookie to second to Master Chief, he’s seen a lot.

 

He’s never felt the sort of tension that he does now.

 

_ “Bravo four in position.”  _

 

The city lights glitter tauntingly against polluted Jalalabad sky. Warning, ominous, and cold.

 

_ Breathe in… _

 

_ “Clay Spenser - Jason Hayes. Meet your strap.” _

 

_...breath out. _

 

Hayes drops his goggles and clicks his radio.

 

The city holds its breath.

 

“Bravo four, on my mark.” He whispers, crouching down and putting a hand on Rays shoulder. The other man nods, tiny and nearly imperceptible, the paramount of focus. Sonny tenses with readiness on the other side of the door.

 

Breathe in.

 

“ _ We gotta get our boy.” _

 

Breath out.

“Go.”

 

The building explodes into chaos, Trent and Brock breaching the lower level, guns raised and Cerberus attacking while the remainder of DEV group slam their way into the third floor via roof access. 

 

The team is faced with a number of jihadists, all scrambling for weapons while the SEALs rain down hell upon them. Sonny is merciless, weaving around the walls with a deadly accurate aim and putting maybe a few to many bullets in each man. Ray splits his cover between Quinn and Hayes, taking out his fare share while Jason almost makes it to the stairs with his initial entry before he has to stop and take cover to shoot. 

 

The men are yelling in some language, a wide variety of guns are going off rather rapidly, and the teams blood are singing with adrenaline fueled anger. Ray yells back in a language that sounds similar, but either they don’t understand it, or they don’t care about what he’s saying.

 

Either way, they’re dead pretty quickly (and with a stupid amount of satisfaction). 

 

It seems that once he breaks the silence, all the tension is suddenly bleeding free into the air, and he can’t stop, can’t think for a second, or he’s going to lose something important.

 

And that something might be Clay.

 

Hayes moves down the stairs the second Ray and Sonny call the floor clear, and the second floor is much more empty. Brock and Trent meet them halfway through, everyone breathing heavy, sped forward with the idea that it’s here, that  _ he’s  _ here. There has to be more. Ten or so bad guys is not enough.

 

But there isn’t. There’s nothing. They’ve found  _ nothing _ . How,  _ how  _ have they found  _ nothing _ . Clay is supposed to be here, they’re supposed to have found him, Ellis was  _ sure _ . 

 

Jason was sure. He knew he shouldn’t have gotten his hopes up (Spenser could _should_ very well be dead) but the second he dropped into this city, the moment his feet landed on the roof of this building, he was sure. 

 

Hayes can feel it. The air is charged, the night is vibrating with energy, and its urging him,  _ telling  _ him. He  _ knows _ Clay is here.

 

But he can’t find him. 

 

“Anything?” Brock shakes his head, and Jason’s hand is already on his radio.

 

“Toc, this Bravo one, three floors cleared, we have negative contact on Bravo six.” 

 

_ “Bravo One this is Toc, we copy. Be advised, we have a several vehicles outside out your location- they appear to be about to leave.” _

 

“Leave? With who in them, we just eliminated everyone in the damn house!” Sonny yells, clearly frustrated. However, before Hayes can get two words out in response, Cerberus is growling, staring at the stairs to the first floor. The team goes silent, watching the dog bristel. Jason lifts his gun, the rest of Bravo following suit, everyone aimed at the doorway.

 

“Toc hold one.” Jason says into his comm, then motions with one hand for Brock to let the dog chase whatever scent he’s got.

 

“Cerberus-  _ seek _ .” The handler hisses, and the dog instantly launches down the stairs barking the whole way. Jason runs forward, Brock, Trent, and Ray already launching down the stairs ahead of him. He knows the second they hit the ground floor because they start yelling, and there’s more gunfire.

 

Jason hits the first floor at breakneck speed, Sonny on his heels, and rushes out the front door, shooting and killing two combatants that took aim at him out on the street.

 

“Where are they?!” He yells.

 

“This way!” Sonny shouts back, the Texan hauling ass down the side of the building to turn into an alley. Hayes scrambles to follow, the road dirt packed and the neighborhood now wide awake with the sounds of gunfire. The night is  _ alive  _ now, dogs are barking, voices are speaking, and the SEALs less than quiet yells are mixing to create auditory chaos. 

 

Three vans are parked in the alley between the two buildings. It’s close compact insanity, with a number of people still in the vans shooting out of them as Bravo floods the alley.

 

The first van gets decimated rather quickly, but the next two are more difficult to clear. They have to watch for assailants coming in from the street that's behind them, and the first van only offers so much cover. Trent and Brock are on the other side of the first van, shooting at the passengers while Ray is crouched behind Jason, trying to pop out from cover to shwack the drivers who are firing AKs out the windows.

 

It’s close and its tight and Hayes feels like his heart might just explode from the amount of adrenaline coursing his system. He’s not thinking about the bullets making contact meer inches from his head, he’s not thinking about how lucky they are that no one’s been hit yet, he’s not really thinking about  _ anything  _ except the fact that Clay could be here, and he needs to get to him.

 

Cerberus is still barking, loud and sharp, when Hayes stands from cover and delivers two headshots to each driver. Ray is next to him, breathing heavy with an hand on his shoulder, and then it goes eerily quiet the second the two men are dead. The whole block seems to hold its breath again, like the world had stopped to watch and now its peaking around a corner to see the aftermath.

 

Cerberus whines, and Hayes surges forward, not hearing a single warning from the members of his team. Fuck whoever else is in the vans. He  _ dares _ them to point a gun at him.

 

Trent had Cerberus smell one of Clays gloves before they began infil. The explosives ordinance dog would’ve been able to find that scent. 

 

Hayes feels an adrenaline high like nothing in his entire career of as a Navy SEAL operator. He doesn’t feel his feet hit the ground as he rushes the third vehicle, barely registers Sonny coming in behind him and Ray slipping to the other side of the alley. The dog stops barking the moment Jason reaches the back of the van, and only through the night vision abilities of his goggles does he see the dog paw at the back door. 

 

Jason crouches down and grabs the handle. Ray nods to him and Hayes shifts backwards, yanking it open as he goes.

 

His second instantly fires off two shots, and there’s a light thump as a body drops.

 

“Clear!” Ray yells, and then Hayes is leaning forward, staring desperately into the back of the van, searching, hoping,  _ knowing- _

 

There’s a man splayed out, very dead, AK-47 on his chest and blood on his clothes. The other door is still closed, so Hayes has to step forward to look into the rest of the cabin and there’s another body,  _ another body _ , slightly smaller, lying on their side with hands tied behind them and a hood over their head and-

 

_ Breathe in. _

 

Jason darts forward into the belly of the van, shoving his weapon aside and reaching for the person’s neck, not to check a pulse, but to find the one thing that could identify his teammate.

 

His fingers wrap around a chain, and he looks down at the dog tags.

 

_ Breath out. _

 

“I got him! I have Bravo six, repeat confirmed Jackpot!” Hayes just about screams, an explosion of relief audible in his voice as the tension, the fear, the horrible dread in his stomach, all of it just falls away.

 

He’s got him. They found Clay.

 

Suddenly there’s gunfire again, and Davis is yelling at them over the radio to get out of there, and they’re sitting ducks in the alley, roof extraction not an option with the Clay the way he is. Urgency rushes back in, and everything starts going faster.

 

“Take the vans! Ray,  _ drive _ !” Jason yells, taking a second to shove the dead jihadist out the back. The team splits, Ray, Jason and Sonny in the last van, Brock and Trent and their furry companion in the second. Sonny somehow ends up in the second row of seats, and Ray pulls the dead driver out in order to take control of the vehicle. The alley is narrow as hell, but they floor it, and Brock (who drives insane on a normal day) rams the first van out of the way in order to clear their path. 

 

“Toc where’s our exfil?!” Hayes yells, quickly ripping the hood off of Clay. The younger man stirs, and the van accelerates out of the alley to follow the rest of the team. “Stay with me kid, we gotcha.” He says quieter when a pair of cloudy blue eyes blink up at him.

 

“ _ We’re working on it.”  _ Blackburn says over the radio, voice a trickle of calm in the amidst the screeching chaos.

 

“Work a little  _ fucking  _ faster-  _ shit!” _ Jason yells as a bullet narrowly misses his head. The van swears, going way to fast over the shitty roads of Jbad. He glances down at Clay, who hasn’t moved an inch and who he’s managed get half sitting up with his back against the side of the van, tape still on his mouth and skin the color of a sheet.

 

Clay, who’d been in enemy hands for almost an entire day, and who was put there by one arrogant son a  _ bitch-  _

 

“Contact rear!” Sonny yells.

 

“Toc I need an exfil!” Hayes barks into the radio, then grabs Clay under the arms and lays him flat on his back. Gunfire rips through the open doors of the back, and Jason turns on one knee, raises his rifle and fires straight through a magazine, tearing up the windshield of the truck behind them. He must hit the driver somewhere, because the junky red pick-up swerves then crashes.

 

_ “Bravo team you have an exfil. LZ is two miles east of your current position, the same open field from your previous mission, how do you copy?” _

 

“Copy Toc! Ray-” 

 

“I got it!” He yells back, swerving suddenly sending Jason and Clay tumbling into the side of the van.

 

“Sonny I need you back here, I gotta take care of the kid!”

 

“Copy!”

 

Hayes reaches forward to get rid of the tape on Clays mouth and Sonny rolls over the top of the second row of seats. He’s unconscious again, and Ray is now skidding around corners to get out of the city. Bullets shatter the small windows on either side of Jason and he ducks with Sonny, covering Clays body with his own and breathing hard.

 

Deal with the kid. Deal with Clay. That’s his job right now.

 

He pulls his knife on autopilot, slicing through the rope binding Spensers wrists and taking in the bleeding, raw skin he finds underneath the coarse rope. Ray pulls another high speed corner, making Hayes almost kiss the floor with his face. Spreading his legs a little farther apart he leans over Clay, keeping his body out of the range of the windows where bullets are still flying. The offending vehicle isn’t behind them anymore, instead the terrorists are beside them, speeding through Jbad with guns blazing. 

 

Hayes is running a hand over Clay, patting down his arms and is just making it to his shoulders and chest when his whole body convulses. They hit a bump so big all three of them in the back lift a solid few inches from the ground and float there for a second.

 

The van slams back down, and Hayes idly wonders how much more abuse Clays body can take. Sonny puts a hand on Jason’s shoulder, and starts shooting out the window, using Hayes to balance on one knee while the van keeps jolting and skidding through the streets.

 

Jason rolls Clay onto his side, letting him puke. It’s mostly watery bile, but there’s blood in it too. It doesn’t last long, and when he’s done, Clay is shaking, whole body tremors and fluttering eyelids that reveal only the whites of his eyes are visible. 

 

Hayes presses two fingers to his neck, feels the weak, thready pulse there, fluttering feebly against his skin and knows that they’re out of time.

 

“Ray, you need to move!”

 

“What in the  _ fuck  _ do you think I’ve been doing the last twenty minutes?! Eating a sandwich?!” Ray screams back.

 

“He doesn’t have much time!”

 

“Neither do we!” Ray yells back, and they go skidding sideways for a few seconds before coming to a complete stop. Jason blinks, panting with adrenaline and stress and feeling oddly off balance now that he he isn’t rattling across the ground.

 

“Sonny, cover!” Ray yells as he jumps from the driver's seat. Jason puts his hand on Clays side, just barely registering the blood seeping into his gloves. 

 

“I got ‘em!” Sonny yells back, kicking out a door, gun at the ready. Hayes scoops up Spenser like he weighs nothing, and slides from the van to speed walk the few yards to the waiting helicopter. Once he’s close enough, Ray hauls Clay into the cabin of the bird, and then grabs the back of Jason’s vest to pull him in faster.

 

“We need to go!” Ray yells, and the pilot needs no encouragement. The chopper starts to rise, and only after Hayes checks to make sure all of his team got on does he spare a glance outside, where the lights of the city are rapidly getting smaller.

 

Only then goes he put a hand on his radio and take a deep breath.

 

“Toc this is Bravo one...confirmed exfil, we have Bravo six, requesting medical to meet us at touchdown.”

 

“ _ Strong copy Bravo one, we will make sure they are ready to receive. _ ” There’s a pause and then Blackburns voice comes over once more, tone loaded with tension, like he’s talking to someone who isn’t Hayes.  _ “Glad you got our boy home.” _

 

\---------------------------------------

 

“You know Hayes, but when I said to get him back to me in one piece, I didn’t mean it as a challenge.” A sharp voice echoes aroundf the pristine waiting room, and a girl with light brown hair and a medics uniform waltzes into the waiting room. The same one who checked Jason right after Clay was kidnapped.

 

A lifetime ago.

 

The waiting room is white and clean, and like every other waiting room in the world the chairs are super uncomfortable and the clock runs backwards. Hayes is situated in the middle of one row of chairs, Sonny to his left, Ray to his right, Trent on the adjacent wall and Brocks sitting on the floor with Cerberus’ head resting on his thigh.

 

They’ve been here for  _ hours _ . And the few poor souls who’ve dared walk through the waiting area without news for them have been subjected to some very deadly glares, and not just from Hayes. Ray is doing that quiet thing he always does when he’s really angry or worried and Sonny is fidgeting and Jason is just fucking exhausted, having been staring at his hands until the memories stopped flashing behind his eyes and then staring some more, analyzing every detail, from the blood on his palms to the frayed threads of the stitching on his thumb.

 

He’s done. He’s so done with this shit show of a mission, done with the politics of the job, done with the anger and fear and frustration and worry that’s been mixing and churning inside his chest.

 

So its with exhaustion, both physically and emotionally, that Jason lifts his head and without an ounce of tact says, “Who the  _ fuck  _ are you?” 

 

The woman stops, almost past the team and into the next hall, and turns on a heel. There’s a piercing look sent his way, and something sharp in her that screams danger. She looks him up and down, a bright gleam in her eye that’s akin to how a predator looks at its dinner.

 

Hayes is just a tad freaked out, but hell if he’d ever admit that. She seems to take pity on him though, seeing as he has blood all over him and has been sitting in his gear for the past five hours with the rest of the team, refusing to leave even to change, just waiting for news on Clay.

 

The sharpness fades, and what’s left instead is a bit of amusement and exasperation, and when she pins her gaze on Hayes he feels chills go down his back. The small smirk, that smile with the hint of cockiness and only partly hidden enthusiasm, it’s stupidly familiar. 

 

“I suppose we ought to be properly introduced.” She sticks out a hand. “Callie Spenser.” 

 

Jason takes her hand without a second thought, and then freezes mid handshake. To his right, Sonny leans over to look at her.

 

“Did you just say  _ Spenser _ ?” He drawls slowly, and Jason drops her hand like it was on fire. She laughs, and  _ yep,  _ there’s certainly no doubt in anyone's mind now that they’re related. Especially since Ray actually jolts back in surprise at the noise and Sonny looks like someone just proved to him that two plus two equals five.

 

“Yeah, Texan, I did.” She chirps at him. “And yes, that Spenser. Hence, my presence here.” 

 

Hayes just keeps staring at her with his mouth open and confusion on his face. Ray nudges his shoulder, then shakes his head.

 

“You’ll have to excuse this one, we’ve had a rough few days.” Ray says fondly **,** and the lightness drops from her face. She adjusts her ponytail in what seems to be a nervous tick as she speaks.

 

“Yeah, I know, it’s why I’m here actually. I have to get on a plane in about…” She snorts. “...two hours ago, but I did promise this fly trap over here that I would put our boy back together when he found him, so, here I am.” Jason blinks, snapping his mouth shut at the chirp and finally finds his voice.

 

“I’m sorry - you’re Clay’s  _ sister _ ?” She nods, looking down at her phone.

 

“Half-sister. And yes. We have the same dad, which unfortunately means we both have to deal with his reputation, although being a medic, I guess I got the lighter end of the bullshit.” 

 

Something between Hayes brain and his mouth has short circuited in the past few hours, and he can’t seem to stop his thoughts from passing straight into the air via his tongue and lips.

 

“Why didn’t I know about this?” He blurts, and the shocked anger is audible in his voice. She instantly shifts to the defensive, that sharp look back but different from before - more protective than an open threat.

 

“Because while Clay is one of my best friends, he also has a protective streak the size of Kansas, and while he respects and trusts you guys, he learned real quick in green team to keep his shit to himself. Lets just say it carried over.” She shrugs. “I haven’t talked to him since he deployed, so don’t take this the wrong way, but he...probably forgot.”

 

“Forgot.” Jason says slowly, rolling the idea around in his head. She nods, and there’s a cheeky glint in her eye now, the same thing that shows in Clays eyes whenever he’s about to hit Sonny with a quip of sarcasm.

 

“Probably.” She says again, then her phone buzzes again and she looks down. “So, uh, I have to go, but I can give you an update?”

 

Hayes blinks quickly, rapidly stunned by the random changes in mood and tone over the last few minutes of conversation.

 

“Uh, yeah, I mean they haven’t-”

 

“They won’t come out and tell you for a while, and when they do, if you aren’t ready then you’ll be on a different plane than him, so I’d suggest you get out of here and pack your shit as fast as you can.” She looks up, then down the hall, like she’s checking that no ones around. “It wasn’t an easy surgery, because god forbid he do anything half way, and right now they’re trying to figure out whatever the hell was pumped into his system while also making sure he keeps breathing so it’s been a rough few hours.”

 

“He was shot?” Hayes asks, needing the confirmation even as his stomach go cold at her words. He certainly appreciates that she doesn’t dance around anything like they can’t handle it. She nods.

 

“Yeah, but it wasn’t the main issue. Just added trauma to his body.” She taps her left side, two fingers skimming over the lower ribs to indicate where. “Lucky bastard had the bullet miss just about everything important, but of course it didn’t go through clean, hence the need for surgery.”

 

“What was the main problem then?” Ray asks, and Jason jerks a little, startled by the closeness and sending a half hearted glare at his second. Ray just raises an eyebrow at him and looks back to Callie.

 

“A bunch of stuff I guess.” She bites her lip, and tightens her ponytail again. Definitely a nervous tick. “Like...what I meant was there wouldn’t have been any need for surgery had it not been for the bullet, and so the anesthesia was mixing with whatever drugs they hit him with and...well in simple terms, we’ll say his body was like nope fuck that, and that’s where things got tricky, so once he’s stable, they’ll send him home, but they got the bullet fragments out really cleanly, so he’ll only be out a few weeks really.” She shrugs at the end, and runs a hand through her hair again.

 

“They have to watch him for secondary drowning too, but they think that it’s been long enough that-”

 

“Woah wait- secondary drowning?” Ray interrupts.She nods. 

 

“Yeah there was water in his lungs.” And she says it like she’s informing them of the weather, like it  _ doesn’t  _ mean that Clay was held underwater to the point of inhaling, like it doesn’t light up every cell in Jason’s body with rage. 

 

“Other than that, it’s making sure there’s no infection from his wrists, and some bruises to deal with.” Her phone buzzes again, and she flinches at it, quickly leaving the waiting room in the direction of the elevators, throwing a  _ “nice to meet you kinda sorta!” _ over her shoulder as she leaves.

 

Everyone stares after her for a second, and then everyone turns to look at  _ him _ , like Jason is somehow more to put together than the rest of them. 

 

Then again he’s the TL for a reason, so he guesses he should be. But for the moment, all he can do is lean forward, put his head in hands, and breath, letting everything else fade away for a few seconds to just exist in the overwhelming relief that’s so bright and powerful that it calms the emotion inside him. It’s nearly euphoric, because she talked about Clay in the present tense, telling them things that were already done, talking to them about taking him  _ home  _ and she didn’t mention a caskett as she did.

 

So he’s alive. Clays alive and barring complications, he’d managed to survive to the point of being able to look at recovering and coming back to the team. Jason didn’t realize how afraid he was of losing this kid for good until he knew he  _ wasn’t _ , and yeah, maybe a part of it that when he looks at Clay it’s like seeing the last bit of Nate alive and breathing, but the rest is because he- because it’d be like losing Sonny or Ray. Like losing his left hand. Spenser has been steadily working his way into their little team and now he’s a part of it, a strong, bright, loud part of it, that changed them but in the best way. 

 

Hayes can say he’s damn glad he isn’t losing that.

 

He looks up, and there’s the rest of his team, deflated and smiling tentatively, reminding him that they’re pretty damn glad too. 

 

“Let’s go get changed I guess.” He mumbles, and the idea of going home is enough to get him up and out of the chair. 

 

Going home with all of his team however, is enough to get him a lot farther.

 

\-----------------------------------------------------

 

Hayes doesn’t expect Clay to wake up on the plane. None of them do, and after the first little shifts in his sleep that yield nothing, he thinks that everyone settles in for the long trip back home. 

 

Normally, the straps get their part of the plane, and the team spreads out, setting up hammocks and stowing their shit and doing whatever to pass the time. Jason normally uses the time to go through AARs and other bullshit paperwork he has to do because being Master Chief of a Tier One SEAL team brings the kind of paperwork that makes one feel like their brain is leaking out of their ears. 

 

Not today.

 

Today, the straps still get their spot on the plane, but so does Clay. The medic assigned to them assures them of his status, that he’s okay, they got whatever drugs in his system under control, he’s stable. He’ll be fine. 

 

Jason has to hang onto the last reassurance, because right now, the kid certainly does not  _ look  _ fine. Doesn’t even look remotely okay. If anything, he looks closer to what he did when they found him. His skin is so pale it’s almost grey, and there’s not a singular sign of life on his face. There’s a thin shin of sweat on his skin, a low fever that the doctor had assured him was normal and not life threatening in anyway, shape or form. He did that a lot, (the whole  _ he’s fine its normal barring no complications he’ll be fine you won’t lose him _ thing) when Hayes went back to the base hospital to talk to him and saw how bad his rookie looked. 

 

Hayes has the grace to feel a little guilty about not telling the rest of the team how  _ not  _ okay Clay was gonna be, but then again he really didn’t have time, because he went from the hospital straight to the plane and, well, he doesn’t think words would have done it justice.

 

He was the first one there, out of the rest of Bravo team anyway, and stowed his shit while they strapped down the gurney and checked him one more time. Then he grabbed a foot locker, dragged it next Clay, strapped it down, and sat. He watched, and stayed silent, pushing his palm back and forth against his thigh as everyone else had climbed aboard. No one said anything to him, not as they all set up their hammocks in a close circle around them, not as Ray pressed a hand to Clays forehead, sweeping his hair back and murmuring a prayer, not as Sonny make a fist so hard his knuckles turned white and he cursed a streak so long Jason actually felt impressed. 

 

They took off without a word, and it’s been tense, heavy silence ever since. Hayes has long since lost comfort with the feeling of rough material under his palm, and leaned forward with his elbows on his thighs and his hands hanging between his legs. He doesn’t remember doing it, but at some point Clays dog tags ending up in his palm, and he let his head hang and his vision zone out to the blurry movement of the chain winding between his fingers. 

 

He doesn’t know how long it’s been. He doesn’t  _ care _ . This was all too much, too  _ close _ . He’s very aware of how lucky they are, to find him so quickly, and to find him  _ alive. _ It’s actually something of an insane rarity. There’s soldier that have been missing for years. Others are tortured to death. Mostly, if you do manage to rescue one from captivity, they aren’t the same person that went in. 

 

Hayes doesn’t want that for Clay. He knows that this job changes you, but he doesn’t want it to change the kid like he’s seen it change so many others. He doesn’t want  _ this _ to change him.

 

When Clay stirs again, he doesn’t think anything off it really. He can hear the soft shuffle, but it’s somewhere far away. It isn’t until he hears an actual,  _ coherent _ , word slip into the air that he get snapped out of his daze by a bolt of adrenaline. He blinks, lifting his head to stare at Spenser with wide eyes and confusion on his face.

 

“Fuck.” The injured man mumbles, eyes half open and hazy. 

 

“Yeah.” Hayes manages to murmur after a few seconds of shock, easily sharing the sentiment. Sonny is passed out in a hammock, and neither of their soft voices wake him, although Ray does sit up in his, book momentarily forgotten. “You okay kid?” 

 

“S think?” He slurs a bit, and Hayes raises an eyebrow, resigned to the fact that Spenser isn’t going to be really with it any time. He frowns, thinking a bit. “Good.” Comes next, and he sounds amusingly proud that he got the vowels mostly right. 

 

“Yeah, you’re good.” Jason agrees softly. “We got you out. You’re gonna be fine kid.”

 

Clay blinks, nods a bit, and slurs out something that might’ve been an attempt at “thanks” but doesn’t ever turn into something discernable as a word. He drops off again almost immediately after, and Hayes can almost imagine he looks better somehow (not really, he still looks half dead, but Jason can have fun convincing himself otherwise). 

 

“Not bad for a guy with enough sedatives in his system to knock out an elephant.” Ray’s voice, while quiet, seems to shatter the air around them. Hayes would like to think he did a pretty good job hiding his surprise, but this is  _ Ray _ , and the raised eyebrow he gets when he makes eye contact with him makes it clear that his best friend hasn’t suddenly gone blind. 

 

“Yeah, well, when has he ever listened to the rules huh?” He replies, shifting a bit to get comfortable for the lecture that’s about to follow.

 

“I don’t really have to give you this talk right?” Ray starts. Jason sighs.

 

“Depends on which talk it is you’re giving, because if it’s the ‘sleep is an okay thing to do’ one, then no.”

 

“Well it’s good to know that it only took five or so years of telling you that every mission before it sunk into your head.” He deadpans, and Jason doesn’t even have it in him to roll his eyes. 

 

He just lowers his gaze, dragging a hand down his face and letting the panic that he’s pushed down for so long, bubble up just for a few seconds. Just to feel it. Because with Ray, he can.

 

“Ray…” He lets his voice drop lower, indicating his seriousness as his eyes are drawn back to Clay. 

 

“No, Jace, this isn’t on you.” Boots hit the floor, but quietly enough that everyone who was sleeping, stays. Hayes doesn’t even look up. “This is on the jackass General who sent us there on a whim, with a flimsy excuse and not a singular care for what happened to us.” 

 

He just shakes his head, even as Ray walks his way over to him, plopping down on the crate next to him. 

 

“Jay, you gotta know this isn’t your fault.” And he does, he  _ does _ , but that doesn’t stop him from regretting it, or from thinking that he should have noticed something was off. 

 

“I do.” He says eventually. “I do but...Ray, this kid is…” He stops, takes a deep breath, and plows forward, even though the words taste bitter on his tongue. “He’s part of  _ my  _ team, I am, in some way responsible for everything that happens to him. To all of you guys. I- this shouldn’t have happened. Not to him.”

 

“You sayin you wish it was you?”

 

“Hell yes.” Jason answers the soft question without hesitation, although he’s instantly suspicious about it. Sure enough, the shoe drops after a moment of contemplative silence.

 

“I don’t.” 

 

Hayes finds himself exaggerating the movement his head makes as he turns to stare incredulously at his best friend. “Excuse me?! You sayin’ that if you had the chance your wouldn’t have taken his place?”

 

Ray - the ever patient bastard that he is - shakes his head slowly. 

 

“I would’ve traded places with him in a heartbeat - but I didn’t, because I didn’t have the option. Neither did you, and neither did Sonny. That’s not what I’m saying though.”

 

“Then what the hell’s your point here Ray?!” He snaps, familiar frustration at his friend bubbling to the surface. His head hurts, his heart hurts, his back is stiff and achy and he’s fucking tired. Dealing with this shit is not high up on his priority list. 

 

“My  _ point  _ is that he can handle it better than you can!”

 

And that’s...what the fuck?

 

“Oh come on Jason, don’t look at me like that.” Ray continues as Jason stares at him in shock. “You and I both know he’s stronger than we are. He’ll bounce back from this like it was nothing, because to him, it  _ is  _ nothing. You? You’d lock it up where no one can help you find it, and you’d let it eat at you.”

 

“Gee thanks.” He huffs, because  _ really _ -

 

“It’s not an insult  _ Master Chief _ I’m just saying that at least with Clay, if this ever catches up to him, I’m going to be able to see it. And if I can see it, I can help him.” 

 

“Unlike me?” Hayes sighs.

 

“Unlike you.” Ray agrees happily, and leans over to knock his shoulder against Jasons. “Now prove that you really were listening the last five years and get some fuckin sleep, you raging insomniac.”

 

\-----------------------------------

 

“There is zero chance that actually happened.” Sonny growls from underneath the bench press. Hayes doesn’t say anything in response, but doesn’t try to hide his smirk as he spots. 

 

“You that pessimistic?” Ray calls from the bench he’s currently sitting on, dumbbells in each hand as he does another set of hammer curls. 

 

“I’m that  _ realistic _ , my luck isn’t that good.” Sonny huffs back, letting the bar sit in the rack for a couple seconds before readjusting his grip to do a few more reps before finally setting the bar back for good. “There is no way that that asshole got what he deserved like that.” He mutters, a familiar tone of anger in his voice as he sits up. 

 

“Course not.” Jason chimes in, thinking back to what he heard from Blackburn the night before. “What he deserves it go through what Clay did, and that’ll never happen. He  _ did  _ however, get a very embarrassing dressing down from his fellow colleagues. Something about ‘getting his operators kidnapped due to being a fucking idiot’? But that’s _ just conjecture _ on my part.” Hayes says with a laugh, putting air quotes in the appropriate places and letting the satisfaction bleed into his tone. 

 

Sonny makes some noise that might’ve been a laugh, but it’s mixed with something of a growl, so Jason just smirks and goes about taking the weights off the bar. 

 

“Asshole should get a lot more than a light admonishment from his superiors and peers.” Ray mutters.

 

“Who’s the asshole?” A voice chimes from across the weight room and Ray swears loudly as he just about drops the fifty pound dumbbell on his foot.

 

“God damn it Spenser!” He yells and Jace stands up so fast his vision does that weird multicolor fading thing. Sonny seems to be just as surprised as the rest of them, if the delay on the good natured ribbing is anything to go by, but they both get their shit together quick enough that Clay doesn’t ask what’s wrong with them.

 

“They finally bust you out or what?” Sonny ask rhetorically, finally standing from the bench and moving to the other side of the bar to fix the weights there (Hayes is only  _ slightly  _ jealous that he has something to do). 

 

Jason can literally  _ predict _ what Clay will do in reaction to bringing up his time in the hospital. They’ll be a light shrug, since he’s leaning against the doorway, and then he’ll look down at his feet, and mumble something of an affirmation that’s just barely audible, but then none of them will call him on it because they were  _ there  _ when he woke up. They were there, in the hospital stateside, when they realized he didn’t really remember most of it, if any. 

 

_ “Just flashes.” _ He had said.  _ “Nothing useful.” _

 

Hayes hadn’t even tried to touch whatever the fuck he meant with that, but had very quickly run over Ray and Sonny when they tried to explain the mission and shit. They got the memo really quickly, and a general consensus went about Bravo team and ensamble - you can tell Clay about the mission, but not about the General who almost got him killed. 

 

Ray had cornered him after, wondering why the fuck that was thing, and at the time he didn’t really have an answer. Later, after visiting hours were over on day three, (the first day the kid was actually coherent), he admitted it to both of them. 

 

Because it’s not that Clay would let it go. He would despite being angry, and if he looked like he wasn’t, all Jason would have to do is  _ tell  _ him too, and then he’d drop it. 

 

It’s just - Jason doesn’t want this guy looking any closer at Spenser than he already is. He knows that he has a target on his back - this guy definitely hates Hayes now - and grudges in his line of work have a way of getting people hurt . If something's going to happen in revenge, it better be to him, not anyone else on his team. 

 

He’s right in his prediction though. Clay does exactly what he knew he would, and Sonny chirps him about looking like shit still, and Spenser’s stupid smile slides back across his face. He meets Jason’s eyes then, and the older man is proud to know that his face is schooled to the perfect expression to belay any suspicion. Clay’s to smart for his own good sometimes. 

 

If the flicker of wariness that crosses their youngest members features is anything though, Clay at the very least has the idea that somethings up.

 

“No seriously, what’d I miss?”

 

“Nothing. You didn’t miss anything.” Hayes knows that there is no way that Spenser isn’t going to be incredibly skeptical of that, but he  _ hopes _ , that for once in his life, he lets it be. That maybe, maybe Jason giving a rare smile and walking forward to put an arm around his shoulders is enough. 

“Glad to have you back kid.” He says, and he means it, means every word. 

 

Says it, because he knows.

 

It’s not enough.

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Bada boom. So there will be a sort of maybe part three? But not for a while. And it take place separate from this incident, if you will, so later down the line. And will hold more Clay whump.
> 
> Thank you so much for reading!


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